update

they say that no news is good news. In a scene, I saw a light on the other end of the tunnel, walked towards it and got out.
success vs happiness, the irony of life.
getting out of the mud was more like a fish taken out of the water. I have to admit though, that this is million times better than being in the tunnel so no complaint.

starting private journalism. just me, myself and I and I can include everything that comes to my mind.
Thank you to anyone who came by and some of my words.

First or perhaps the last post of 2009

After experimenting on myself with thousands of things and through trial and error, I came up with simple formulas for the rest of my life. With prayer and hard work anything is possible.

1. The vector principle: the shortest distance between two points is a straight line. In other words, there are no short cuts in life. Don’t be “shady” say what you want to say, always to the point.
2. W=F.d states that work(results) is the product of Force (action) and distance (perseverance: how far you are willing to go to make something happen) . In other words, you have to do an action to achieve a desirable result, don’t expect others to do it for you or even worse don’t be paralyzed by indecision.
3. Newton’s first law of motion: things will remain as they are unless you apply a force to it. Don’t expect change without action.
4. Newton’s third law of motion: For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. In other words, don’t expect it to be easy. People will stand in front of you and say you can’t, others will remind you that your actions are futile, but non of that will slow you down.

Almost out of the mud

I hope it is not a false alarm and Murphy was wrong. It seems that from time to time, things do go right.
They say that life is like a rollercoaster or more like a sine curve, you will have your ups and downs. definitely can't go anymore down so only one way to go, but don’t think I can handle another fall.

Almost forgot, it was far from a perfect day,
“I can’t change the rules.”, “then I should not be wasting my time on you.”
You can’t tell me you are the captain of the ship, but have no control over it.

things getting better, Alhamdullilah

This is why I don't like to talk to people about my problems:

"I am drowning and you are descibing the water."

If anything can go wrong, it probably will – murphy’s law.

My new laptop started to freeze, so I try to reinstall windows and the installation freezes half way (4 times in a row on the 33minutes), tried to install xp and it also freezes, then won’t recognize the hard drive. “No hard drive device was detected”.
To be honest, I don’t give a s**t about laptop, but this is how things were going last 3 weeks, always from bad to worse.
“If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong” – murphy’s law.
“If anything just cannot go wrong, it will anyway”
"Whatever can go wrong will go wrong, and at the worst possible time, in the worst possible way.”

That is the kind of month it has been.

Lessons Learned

I learned two important lessons in life over the last weeks.
1.No one other than Allah will help you, you will have to help yourself
2.When all things fail, the only hope you have is trying
Time after time, these two statement have proven to be true.

Remember this day

I have to say that this is probably the worst time in my life. Frustration, hopeless, and kind of embarrassing. You never realize what you have lost until you lose it. You never realize the meaning of pain until you feel it. You will never know the meaning of hopelessness until all doors are shut against your face. A man said to me today “It is worthless trying it, hopeless …”.
Dead man walking. I am not phony and always try to be honest with people, but this time I don’t want people to know my weakness. I got many congratulations this week for what I have accomplished, but my success is what is most depressing part about this. It is like winning the jackpot and knowing you really can’t cash it. My story is paradoxical in everyway you can imagine it. It is a success that leads to failure. There is no one to blame, I am simply the victim of circumstances.
I NEVER GIVE UP and I never surrender. To be honest to you, the only hope I have is trying. The day I stop trying is the day I am truly dead.
Just so you know, STILL ALIVE!!!